Come back, Fred
by iBeHere
Summary: George writes to Fred almost a year after the war, hoping to bring him back. *By the way, I did not steal that Edit, I made it, so please don't use it unless you ask me..*


Dear Fred,

Mum suggested I write a letter to you to make me feel better. It's been a long time since the war's been over, so I don't think it's going to help. But what have I got to lose?

I hate you. I really do. But the problem is, I miss you. Not a day goes by I don't grieve or cry. And I never said this enough while you were still here: I love you. It's too late now, though. But that doesn't mean I don't hate you any less. The worst thing is, if you _have _to leave, you won't just leave. Your presence still lingers here. I haven't been able to sleep peacefully because of it either. It doesn't help that whenever I look at that damn clock, your hand always points to 'Lost'.

No one brings up what happened, but I know Mum cries about it at night. Percy never comes out of his room. We only see Percy at meals, and it's hard to get him to come out of his room even then. He blames himself. He doesn't say anything, but I know he does. He thinks he could have done something about it since he was next to you. Bill and Charlie never touch their brooms, and Ron and Ginny never fight anymore.

I went to the joke shop the other day. I wanted to try and get it up and running again, but I just cant. It's silly, I know. I just can't do it without you, though. Everything is still there, I just need to open it. Like I said, it's stupid, I know.

I can hardly sleep, I can't open the Joke shop up again, and I can't stay in a healthy mental state. Christmas was recent, too. Mum had made you a scarf before the war. She forgot she had it, and had brought it out too. It's not the same with your chair empty.

Fred, I can't think right. I can barely go in our room. It's nearly impossible for people to say "George" instead of "Fred and George". I'm only half the person I was before the war. I hardly talk. When I do talk, I stop mid-sentence, and wait for someone-not _someone_. I'm waiting for _you_. I'm waiting for _you _to finish my sentence. I'm waiting for this be be a very very cruel joke and you'll just jump out from behind the couch and scare me. Just like we used to do while Charlie was sleeping. I'm waiting to be able to produce a Patronus because all my happiest memories are with you. It'd make no difference if I had a Demontors Kiss though. It wouldn't change how I act. I'm waiting for you to come back. I'm waiting for you to be there in your bed across from mine when I wake up in the middle of the night, terrified, thinking what had happened was all just a very long nightmare. I'm waiting for you to come back so I can actually make a joke or tease Ron and have life go back to how it was before. I can't live without you Fred.

I sound pathetic, don't I?

Who am I kidding? It's not like you'll see this. The only thing seeing this other than me is the Rubbish Bin. It's not like I can send an owl to the dead. It's not like you could just look over my shoulder and read it.

If you can, tell everyone else I say hi, and tell Lupin and Tonks Teddy is being well taken care for.

I've gone mad, haven't I? It was only a matter of time.

Fred, I seriously can't live without you. If this is some cruel joke… I've already tried killing myself. Ginny stopped me, though. But that doesn't mean anything's changed. I still don't know how to survive the next day, or even hour. People say "Eventually you'll be fine." or "Eventually you'll just forget anything ever happened."

That's the thing. How long is eventually? It's already been almost a year. I think. It seems like it's been about five years.

I'll never forget this. This is the worst possible thing that could happen. I'll never fully recover from the emotional pain of you dying. The pain of you leaving me. Forever.

Our birthday was a few days ago. Mum and Dad thought it might help to have a birthday party. I tried to act happy. I really tried. It just wasn't the same with your chair next to mine empty. No one sat in your chair, though. Like maybe you would burst through the door dramatically on your broom and announce it was all just a _very _cruel joke. Even though I knew your broom is still in the shop where we left them before the war. Almost everyone sang "Fred and George" instead of "George."

You said you were okay. Why did you lie? You could have at least warned me you were scared. Warned me you were going to die. You could have at least waited for me to be there, so maybe I could have helped save you. We were Partners in Crime. We spent almost every moment together. I can only remember bad things that happened while we were separated. Sometimes, during the night, I'll have nightmares about you dying. I wake up and go to tell you about it. And I'd expect you to just tell me I was being stupid and you were right there. You'd tell me that you'd still be there, no matter what. Except... I wake up... and you're not there. You left too soon. Is it as bad being dead as it is here? I wish you could see just how much you meant to me. I wish I would have shown that when you were still here. There's so much I would do to have you back here. I would do anything. Even if i could just see you for five minutes.

The sad thing is that like I said, it still felt like you were there. Fred, please just come back.

This isn't funny.

Love you lost and hopeless twin,

George


End file.
